No Drinking-n-Driving,No Street Dwelling

It was eleven thirty in the night. Eleven Thirty in Mumbai isn't Night. Yet by
universal standards, let's consider it one. Signals stood lonely blinking lazy yellow
at each junction. I sped through them at each junction, humming Dhoom tune to myself on
my motorbike. When else does one get a chance to imitate John in Mumbai. Fast forward
it to eleven thirty in morning and imagine if u can even hit speed of forty, that too
with a prolonged signal at each junction. No. Not possible. Now's the only chance to
change your last name to Abraham and twist the accelarator to the end of your knuckle
bend. Feel the speed. Whiz past everything within a fraction of seconds. Feel the wind
in your face. Your clothes. Your body Your soul. Be one with ur machine. Dissolve with
the road. Bandra, Khar, Santa Cruz passed me in a scurry. At Parle a whistle blew out loud. Ringing sharply through the helmet, into my
ears. I slowed down. Road Block Barricades stood spreading their arms at the Centaur
Junction, ready to envolope the vehicles, trying to zoom past through them,
into.Policemen sat like fingers at the edges of those hands. Seeing me decelerate, one
of them shifted to the center of the road looking like Batman with spread wings with
those barricades behind him. I stopped near him. I tried to smile. He was at the peak of his duty with his
straight face.
'License???'
I thrust my hand into my back pocket, pulled it out and handed it over to him.
He scrutinised it all ways through. Shit, no defect!!!
'Kiska gaadi hai?'
'Daddy ka.'
'Gaadi ka paper' Caught u kiddie!!! I opened my sack and passed him the packet with the bike papers. Once again scritiny all sides over.Shit...again no point!!!
'Kihdar jaa raa hai??'
'Gharpe'
'Kidhar se aa raha hai??' Questions, Questions, Questions. You are the cop man!!...you have the right.
'Dost ke ghar se'
'Kaiko gaya tha?'
'Padhne'
'Kitaab??' I Pointed out at the fat thick Kotler peeping out of my bag. He tried to read
it's title. Way beyond uncle's grasp. 'Kaunsa college?'.'Kaunsa class?'....'Kaunsa bench?','Uspe Kaunsa side??'.'Kaunsa bloodgroup','Aaaj khaane mein kya khaayaa tha?','Uska nutritive value kya kya hai?','Usme Carbohydrates kitna tha?','Carbihydrates mein Carbon kitna hota
hai?','Caron ka calorific value kitna hai?','carbon molecule mein kitna Ions hota
hai','Carbon ka atomic number kya hai?'....anything.Absolutely anything. Bhai Puleeswaale ho. Tumko hak hai. No problem with my riding in the night. Now comes the delicate part. A machine was held at my mouth.
'fooko isme' I blew into it.
Machine gave some readings. He checked those. Faced unbudged.
'Theek hai' Name,address,phone number jotted down. License, papers handed back.
'Jaao abhi.' At last, it was my turn to ask a question. I had too. After facing his two
hundred I could have one at least.
'Saaheb....ekdum checking vagaire'.I chose marathi. The official language of worlds
second most efficient police force,after scotland yard. I saw comfort running on his face. Tensed lines loosened up. A faint smile
formed at his lips.
'Arey aata compulsary hai naa....alcohol test...public daaru peeoon gaadya
chaalavtaat...aacident kartaat...lokaanchaa jeev jato...tension hai naa...mhanoon.' He expilained to me the recent compulsion of alcohol test for drivers and the
ill effects of drunken driving in short grouping of words.
'Aadhi evadha navhata...parva tya bandraachya poraannee tya jhopdiwaalyaana maarala na
tevhaapasoon jhaala hey' Alright.The reason shaped up. A group of drunken Bandra guys ran over a family of street dwellers, extending
their midnight snooze to an eternal slumber.They were charged with culpable homicide
charges by the authorites later. But those street dwellers died on the spot with the
car tyres going over their bodies. Well culpable Homicide charges will do the justice.
No need to worry 'What's wrong with these Bandraites???' I said to myself,'First there was
Salman- A Bandraite and then these "Poryaa"s. Why are they so obsessed with the concept
of "Drink,Drive,Kill". We are getting screwed for their deeds. Arseholes!!!!' I kick-started my bike and took a leave. How smart is the Government Of Maharashtra to implement immidiate 'Naka Bandi'
at night time iced with alcohol blow test. Apt move I must say. More the scary cops on
road, Less of Drink-n-Drive. Less of Drive-n-Drive,Less of accidents.Less of accidents,
Less loss of life. Perfect!!! Most efficient way of saving lives. But what should be
marked out is the appropriate timing of the Government in implementing these road
blocks. Very appropriate. A week within the incident. Must appriciate the wit possesed
by the administration in this matter. We are ensured of no accidents henceforth. Well, this phenomenon of Drink-n-Drive didn't exist before. Did it?? I mean
What Salman did was he had his drinks first and then he drove his SUV over the cozy
roadside nappers. That's not called Drink-n-Drive. Is it?? What these guys commited was
a perfect act of Drink-n-Drive. They drove as they drank. This was never existent
before.We didn't ever hear of it. We never saw people with half emptied beer in one
hand and a steering in other. Never. Not even on state highways. Neither on National
Highways. Nevr did a truck driver drink his 'Tharraa' and drive. And ST drivers never
touched the bottle of 'Naringi' or 'Mousambi' before hitting their routes. How noble were the people. Thank god the government curtailed this epidemic in time. Or else such sights would soon be visible at every signal and junction at night time in the city.I bet they love this city and the people. Now along with this they should also now start sessions trying to put some sense amongst people. Even though that is not as relevent as Road Blocks, but it holds a necessity of it's own. They should educate people about their living and sleeping habits. 'What sense does it make by sleeping on pavements??? That ain't no place to sleep. Come on. You must be having homes, don't you??? Go and sleep in your own bungalow like us'-The ministers should enlighten everybody,especially the below poverty line people- 'At least an apartment or two. How have we got five to seven apartments in a same city. We can sleep wherever we want when we want to. If u feel enclosed in your bedrooms, Go sleep in the room facing the sea. If u dont have one ask your builder friend to encroach on sea coast and ask him to reserve a flat for you.If u dont like the salty air, try national park. It's got all the fresh air in the city. Or even AArey colony would do.In the end why is earth made.For all of us to encroach on spaces.... What is this sleeping on road.And what is this this new fashion??? Street dwelling!!!...It's so down market. Street Dwelling???!!!...Isn't their space left in the city. There are so many slums. Go shift into one of them. Who said builders are going to destroy them. No. How can they without telling us. We too need a flat to stay like you all,etc.'
I beg to the authorities to please do it. People like fools, fall prey to growing fashions and trends and then embrace death. Government should restrict this growing craze of roadside dwelling, like they controlled the one for drinking-n-driving. It's possible for them. They are efficient. Isn't that proven by the road blocks. Also their other ideas are a hit- like dance bar bans, helmet compulsions, polythene bag bans. They overcame the problems of cultural degradation, narrow unsafe roads and Indiscriminate property growth in environment sensitivity quite effectively. They are the masters of solutions. Long time, flawless, fitting solutions. It at times astonishes me by the way they produce these solutions. How can any brain work in such an extraordinary manner.
And also it is on the people's part to not drink and not drive or drive when not drunk....and not dwell or sleep on streets, especially when our ever-so-competent goverment is able to provide them with ample accommodation and when our city has so much spare place to consturct houses for them.