Recipe for a good coffee

A good coffee always needs perfect amount of sugar. And if you don't have it,
you need to get down from your minaret and reach the nearest 'General Stores'(possibly
the rudest one) and ask for exactly one hundred grams of sugar, pay him and get back to
the minaret.It is as easy as this.
However this does not remain this easy if someone eight hundred miles away has
desecrated the image or idol of some leader..


Night ten thirty. I need sugar. No sugar on room. I get down from my room. I
look aroun. Road is empty. Nobody around. Two policemen with batons.'Pehla nasha' tune.

"Hello""Abey Gandu....room se baahr mat nikal.Don't gey outta ur fuckin room"
"Why?"
"Roits man riots....danga shuru ho gaya hai."
"Why???""Don't know....lekin hai"
"Gaand teri....you don't know anything...n you r calling up everybody saying riots've
broken out...dimaag kharaab ho gaya hai kya??"
"Nahi re...sachchi"
"Sachchi your arse!!!"



"Aye....kidhar???", Pandu interruption.
"Woh shakkar lene ke liye....."
"Kuch shakkar bikkar nahi...sab dukaan bandh hai....curfew"
"Curfew??!!....Kaayko???"
"Maaloom nahi kya? Danga chaalu ho gaya hai.....gharpe ja!!"
spoke.
"Danga!!!!....kaike upar se???""Woh kuch ho gaya hai udhar""Kidhar??""Woh mereko kya maaloom....jaa abhi!!!"



Desecration of the idol of Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar in Kanpur has caused riots
in some areas of Mumbai and Pune. Government has requested people to maintain peace
and decorum in the state.



"Chalo at late aaj toh time pe office pahunchunga"
"Yeah....no problem today"
"Hmm....Queen kabhi kabhi hi queen hoti hai...waisi aaj hai"
Train halts all of a sudden.
"Bhenchod...lagadi najar...dekho ruk gayi....now again late today!!"
"Abey ruk gayi matlab kya puri tarah se thode hi ruki hai....it'll again start in next
five minutes."
"Aur nahi hui toh???"
"Toh ten minutes"
"And if it doesn't start even after ten minutes????"
(After ten minutes.)
"Abey yeh kya hai.....poori train jaladi"
"Poori train nahi...only three bogies"
"teen nahi chaar....four"
"koi maraa kya???"
"Pata nahi"
"I'll be late for office again....inki toh...."
"Abey peechhe ka local bhi jalaa rahe hai kya???"
"Lekin hua kya hai train jalaneko???"
"Pata nahi"
"Saalaa ekdin toh time pe pahunchne waalaa tha...abhi woh bhi nahi shit!!!"
"Yeh...isne najar lagayee"
"Sorry.....Queen aaj bhi queen nahi hai"
"Lekin sab ho kyon raha hai???"
"Pata nahi"



"Tum sab hijde ho...saalo koi Baba ki murti todta hai...aur tum sab aise hi baithe
rehte ho.....jaao....unko apni taakat dikaho...show them you are not eunuchs....Jai
Bhim!!!"
"Jai Bhim"
"Very Good Saaheb....agala election apna!!!"



"Baba....now what will we do???....look what they've done....they hit all of them who
were with us at the Chavdar lake....these uppercaste pigs!!!!....what do they think
they are???"
"Baba....one word....there are still many of us....we'll clean all those bastards in a
single go...just give us the order Baba"
"Calm down Chitre....we are satyagrahis....I warn all of you...I don't want any
violence....we are fighting for truth....and the truth is that we are humans and nobody
can deny us from our right of being treated like humans....and we will fight for this
truth.....come what may...but with peace.....I think we are that strong
enough...what??"Baba asked mischeiviously over his spectacles...but the concern for the
growing restlessness amongst his men was clearly visible on his face. The upprcastes
would never accept them so easily as a part of the legitimate society. But what if his
men lost their temper during this struggle and opted for violent means. However all
accepted Baba's decision that day and held on. Baba was relieved for the moment.



"Buddha means non violence.....Buddha means peace.....Buddha means no bloodshed" Baba
was explaining Buddhism to his colleagues."And when we shall be buddhists....we will
accept this very first condition of Buddhism.....are you ready to come with me to
Buddha????"



"I will practice non violence" Baba recited out one of the clauses of Buddhism at the
Dhamma Conversion ceremony at Nagpur. His voiced came back to him through the chorus of thousands standing around the pedestal. They were with him throughout the oath. They were promising Buddha that they would follow him. And also to Baba.
"I will practice non violence" The chorus said.



"Kal poora Maharashtra jalaa denge.....we'll burn every damn thing in revenge of this
humilation."



"Lekin yaar yeh hua toh Kanpur mein hai....phir idhar kaiko danga ho rela hai???"
"Mereko kya pata"



"Babasaheb sirf Maharashtra ke nahi hai....poore desh ke hai....unke apmaan ka
badla....poore desh ko lena hoga.....ab tak poore desh se kraanti ki aawaaj uth rahi
hai...ab hum maharshtra waale bhi peeche nahi rahenge......Jai Bhim"
"Jai Bhim", Chorus.
"Saaheb.....timing bhi sahi hai....december mein hai election."



(On screen)
"The breaking news for the hour.....Riots have broken out in some parts of Maharashtra
owing to the desecration of the idol of Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar in Kanpur. Mumbai,Pune
and Aurangabad are amongst the areas declared most volatile with respect to the current
situation. People are demanding a Maharshtra wide bandh tommorow as a protest against
this act of humiliation"
(Off screen)
"What's the connection???...Mumbai,Pune, Aurangabad.....and Kanpur???!!!!....I mean...
even by train it takes two days to reach from these places to Kanpur man."



"Aye dukaan kyun khola???"
"Saahab dhandaa hai....humraa pait palta hai ispar."
"Dhanda hai toh kya hua....ekdin bandh nahi rakh sakta hai"
"Bandh??...kaahe??"
"Maaloom nahi kya...aaj Maharashtra bandh hai....tum saale bhaiya log...kidhar kidhar
se aate ho....madarchod!!"
"Arey bandh kari det hai saahab...gaali kaheko det ho??"
"Kya bola???"
"Hum keh rahe the....ki saahab hum abhi bandh kari det hai...bas aap aisa maa par se
gaali nahi dijiyegaa"
"Jaasti shaanaa banataa hai???....aye daal re ghaaslet saale ke dukaan par bhendi"



"Humraa poora dukaan jala diye"
"Arey baba idhar har kisika kuch na kuch jal raha hai....hum bhi kidhar kidhar dhyaan
dega???.....hum bhagwaan thoda hi hai"
"Saab....headquarter se phone hai....tera number beat mein force bhejne bola
hai....udhar danga chaalu ho gaya hai"
"Dekha??"



"Fuck man coffee tastes awful without sugar....what the fuck will happen with a bandh
and fuckin riots....that too for incident in Kanpur."



"It is magic....pure, chaste magic....with each burning....the idol builds a millimeter
of itself back."
"What shit??"
"Really....more the riots...faster will the idol be rebuilt....damn for this
unsuccessful bandh today....or else majority of the idol would've been rebuilt by
today."
"Fuck you....u being sarcastic or something???"
"No man....really. They did the same to rebuild Babri Masjid....but it was a lagre
monument kinda place...and killings and riots were too less for it."
"What do u think you are???...Dante??"
"I swear...It's the truth."



"Humne unhe apni taakat dikha di hai.....humaaraa badla poora ho gay hai....Baba ka
putla todne waale ko pakda gaya hai aur use kadi se kadi sajaa di jaayega"
Applause!!!!
"Ab mein aap se binati karta hoon ke aap sab ab humein nyaay milne tak sayyam rakhe.
Baba ka badla poora ho chuka hai....sirf aap ki vajah se....aap hai Baba ke sachche
poot....Jai Bhim!!!."
"Jai Bhim!!!"
"Ab yeh log shaant rehne chaiye...warna."



"Aapne agar apne logo ko kaabu mein nahi rakha toh agle cabinet mein aapki koi jagah
nahi hogi.....isliye aap apne logo ko jaraa kaabu mein rakhe"
"Lekin isse humaaraa hi faaydaa hai"
"Tumhaara faayda hai....tum logo ka koi bharosa nahi....jiske paas majority hai wahaan
chale jaate ho."
"Toh phir kya darr hai...agle cabinet mein main kisi aur ke saath jaaker yahi
baithunga"
"Aap shaayad bhool rahe hai....ke isbaar bhi aap cabinet mein hai."



"Why don't you understand???...they are using us. They are using our caste
factor....woh humaaraa istemaal kar rahe hi....kab samjhoge tum log"
"Saaheb aisa nahi kar sakte....samjhaa...tera kaam hai kavita likhna...tu jaake kavita
likh....saaheb ko kuch bolne ki jaroorat nahi hai.....saaheb humaare neta hai...woh
humaare liya ladhte hai."



"Roits have finally calmed down after two long days in Maharashtra. Things are back to
normalcy.Government has said....."



"Saalaa danga dui din mein bandh hi karna tha toh hamraa dukaan kaahe jalaye"



"Useless....what did they get causing inconvinience to ordinary people....rascals"
"Peace of mind"
"No....revenge"
"Revenge for what???"
"For humiliation"
"Then go and kill that bastard who had desecrated the idol...why are you meddling with
my routine...now I'll have to work on weekends too."



'Deccan Queen is back on tracks'-Headline, Pune Herald.



"Queen ka naam pheonix rakhna chahiye.....Queen queen hai yaar!!!"
"Chup....najar mat lagaa"



"Finally a good coffee with sugar....after two days."



For a good coffee, add two teaspoons of sugar. Oneteaspoon of coffee. Three
drops of milk. Mix them well. Make a paste. A thick one. And pour boiling hot milk in
it. Stir as you pour. Taste it. You'll feel proud of yourself for making such a coffee.